Day Twenty Three

Had a really interesting class with Kate this morning. Andy practiced next to me and I had Mel behind me in between us, which was really nice too. Somehow when you've been hard out in the challenge and are a little vulnerable (its the last week now) it is really nice to have other challengers or people who practice often around you for support. I have been lucky enough to have this for the last few classes and I really heart these people who have been amazing to practice with - Mel, Line, Tony, Emily, Mike, Alex, Andy, Kate, Sarah, Annabelle - and everyone else who practices at Albany of course. I think eventually it won't matter who I practice next to but for now it's really making a difference for me.

So, the class. Started strong. Am feeling a bit better about standing head to knee - kicking out both sides now, not always for very long - but it feels like my body is getting a bit more used to it, that it kind of knows what to do just not for long enough (yet). Some good bows, though nothing held for the whole time. It all went well until triangle (damn you tricky nasty one) where I was in tears for most of both sets. I tried to stay in it but it was difficult. Ended up sitting out part of it. Got back up and fine for tree. Toe stand got both hands up for half a second *lol* before falling out. Never mind.

Spine strengtheners were average to ok - floor bow is improving though I think. After the tears in Triangle I was a bit reluctant in the spine strengtheners, since if I'm going to be hit with the crying stick it usually happens there. But it didn't. (And I was fine again for camel as well. Go figure).

Something really interesting happened in rabbit. I'm trying really hard to keep my head on my knees as I raise my butt up into the air, so that it's closer when it gets to the floor. It seems to be working, I am definitely feeling a stretch in the lower back that I didn't used to feel. But today I also felt a sensation of extra heat or vibration in the lower back, I imagine it's the kind of feeling you get with Reiki or similar. It felt very healing. It made me stay in Rabbit for a little longer to make full use of it. And my lower back felt better than it normal does in savasana after, somehow flatter. I have a sway back, always have, and also ruined my coccyx falling down some stairs with worn carpet on them in my 20s. I was drunk and coming down from the second floor, both feet slipped out from under me and I was came down the whole staircase on my butt, one step at a time. I had trouble sitting for about 6 weeks afterwards and though I didn't go and get proper medical attention (because I knew it was my own fault, I guess there was some shame involved, but I was young and it was normal behaviour in Australia *lol*) I'm pretty sure it was broken. Anyway, its been a bit of a problem in my practice lately and I am glad of any healing in this area, and in the hips!

Had lovely chats with Andy before and after class about teacher training. She's offering to talk to Todd over a few beers to see if she can convince him to send me. I'm not sure how he'll feel about that but I think I'm going to try and set something up. Maybe have a few yogis over for a barbeque or garden party or something in December . Any of you want to come party with me? Let me know! (Also, while I think of it, I'm heading down to Palmerston North the weekend following the end of the challenge - 2nd to 4th December - for a friend's book launch so I really hope that the studio party for challengers won't be that weekend. Cross fingers)!

24 classes down - and the challenge experience is feeling great. I've been waking up with heaps of energy at 3am and making lunches etc, doing a bit of washing if necessary, getting the kitchen tidy if I was too tired in the evening to get it all done. Then going back to bed about 4am or 5 - but by early evening I am feeling just as tired as I was before. But I do feel like the yoga is giving me a lot more energy, and motivation, and clarity. My skin is definitely glowing (even more so with a tiny bit of makeup to even out the age spots - heehee), my brain seems quicker and clearer, my emotions are mostly even, my appetite goes up and down but my thirst for anything fluid, not just water, is definitely up. I've been trying to drink juices and smoothies and I even tried a gingerbread coffee frappuccino at Starbucks today instead of a flat white because I wanted a bit more volume with my caffeine hit. I don't usually drink stuff like this but it feels OK right now. Took some iron and magnesium last night and I think that has helped with the fatigue I was feeling too. It's all learning, I'm really grateful for this experience which I am sure will be invaluable when I do get to do the training as well as for normal life.

Oh, something else I almost forgot to tell you. The psychologist who ran the self esteem group course that I was part of phoned me today as a follow up. She was telling me about my scores for self esteem and depression (from surveys we filled out over the course) from the beginning of the course to the end (it finished just before the challenge began) and my scores started low and went up steadily over the course for self esteem and depression. (ie: I definitely started with low self esteem and a level of depression that would require some kind of intervention, and then things got better over the course and now I am in "normal people" range). The other thing they tested for was anxiety and they were low the whole way through. I definitely have yoga to thank for this.

I had a great time telling her how happy I feel right now and how my life is really changing, day by day, for the better.

Namaste.