Day Nineteen - Double

Damn you Kate Brown - my hips muscles (sic) and the front of my hips are so sore today! And I only have myself to blame for following your Simon Says instructions and listening to you tell me over and over to push my hips more forward. I'm not sure whether I'll have much luck pushing them forward in class today but I'm sure it's going to make a difference eventually. And maybe that broken coccyx from my early twenties will sort itself out and then I might be able to round the lower spine as well. I must say - I'm still not sure about it being possible to have "a mostly straight spine" - it's either straight or it's not (anyone heard of a mostly pregnant woman) but I'm hoping to figure it out one day. Probably right about the time it dawns on me what a Japanese Ham Sandwich actually looks like.

Awesome double yesterday. Second class (4.30pm with Kate) I had Tony ask me to practice near him so we could get some good yogi energy going. Turns out we had a great space in the room. I was surrounded by 30 day challengers - Emily practicing in the front row with her dad Mike and Alex also up the front, me second row, Tony just behind me and to my right. Love having a wingman! But even better it was like a whole bunch of fighter planes flying in formation, together. Synchronized Bikram. Sweet as, bro! When I came in Emily & Alex were at the desk talking to Kate and going through some dialogue (they're both off to teacher training in April next year, have I mentioned that before, and I so want to go to with them) and we talked about how we were feeling re the challenge and impending double etc. Emily said she walked into the room to set up her mat and just couldn't make a decision. She pointed to the door into the studio and said "that's my mat in a pile just there - I just walked right back out and dumped it outside". She said she just wasn't sure where she was or what she was doing. (Later, after class I said have a great Saturday night and Emily said but isn't it Sunday? This is Bikram time - I am finding I'm starting to lose track of time too. Hard to explain but to me it's like time doesn't matter near as much as it used to or something).

That placing in the room thing is interesting. I used to have a few favorite spots - second row near the reception door or front left corner of the room. I've been moving around the room alot in this challenge. I've never had the same kind of class in any of the positions either. Want the room to look like it's full of fun house mirrors, where you can see all the walls and the back wall in weird tiny perspective and realize what a small small person you are? Practice up the back. Want to block out every single person in the room but confront yourself with all your faults, disillusionment, disappointments but also recognize your strengths? Practice front row. Want to get as much feedback from the teacher as possible? Practice front and centre, second row or next to the podium in the front. Want to avoid the teacher as much as possible? Position yourself so you're at a diagonal to them with at least two other people on the diagonal between you, somewhere near the back corners of the room. (This is not fail safe though they can still walk around. And they will, especially if they need to get to the sprinklers to up the humidity). But don't forget to ask yourself the question about why you're doing all this posturing - is to avoid something about them or yourself? What is it that you don't want to see? What would be the worst thing that could happen if you saw it? What might happen if you busted through that resistance and let go? What if that were possible? What if there were no boundaries?

Despite my sore hips I'll be back in the hot room today putting in 100% effort in the postures and 100% relaxation in savasana because I tell you my friends it's one hundred percent worth it when you walk out of that room and you just know that things are falling right into place. Namaste.