Day Sixteen

"You can't always get what you want
And if you try sometime you find
You get what you need." Rolling Stones

I wasn't sure what to expect at yoga today. I never know what to expect when I go into that room. But I am learning to be open to whatever experience that class offers me when I'm on my mat in the hot room, trying to breathe normally. Today started off as a hard strong class - few issues with the blocked nose, had to blow my nose on my towel (which I hate - but I forgot to bring tissues) but made sure it was in a corner I wasn't going to be face down in in any of the postures. Ahem.

Had a few glitches along the way - nearly did third part awkward instead of second part (just forgot a step in my head) then went to set up for floor bow when it was still time for full locust. God knows what that was all about. I just laughed it off, clumsy yoga girl with a cold experiencing weird brain effects.

Room was hot but that didn't seem to be an issue - I think I'm starting to ignore the heat or at least accept that it's a vital part of the process - though I did spin out a bit in camel. And when I say spin out I mean the room started to spin like yesterday, my stomach was flipping, I saw stars. Second set, same thing. Dave started to talk to me because he could see I was having some kind of reaction - but he was calm and talked through it, reckoned I'll miss those stars one day. A tear or two, nothing too overwhelming but certainly lots of energy in the chest and abdomen and it did make me feel rather nauseous in rabbit so I eased into them and came out earlier than normal. Felt OK by the end of the class, though I was a little emotional in the car on the way home, and then had the most amazing afternoon (went out for lunch with friends and sat in the sun overlooking Browns Bay beach - bliss).

Someone told me today before class that I looked like I'd lost a heap of weight. It's someone I've only met this year so she doesn't know that when I started I lost about 15 kilos. I think on this challenge so far I MAY have dropped a couple of kilos, certainly improved muscle tone but more than anything I have lost some of my baggage, which really can't be quantified. I said to her, it's more than just physical you know. She looked at me blankly. I said, yeah I've toned up a bit but it's more about the emotional weight. And then she went, "Ah. Maybe." I don't look much different in the mirror as far as I can tell but if other people are perceiving the changes to how I feel inside that's great news. And with this yoga, you may not achieve all you want to achieve every time you go but you're always going to get what you need.